A Restful Night of Sleep at last. . . Sorta

Sleep has been hard to come by. I'm getting better at sleeping in daylight. . . because I have to. When it's always daylight, you gotta sleep sometime! I've had several nights where I can't fall asleep until really late and then I wake up early. Kevin had some Ambien (prescription sleeping pill) so he gave me one to try so I can get at least one good nights sleep. Whoa! is all I have to say. He gave it to me the other day, but I figured I'd take it when I really needed it. I took it just before midnight last night and I could feel it knocking me out. The weird thing about it, though, was that it knocked me out, but for a while I felt like I was awake and asleep at the same time. It's like when you're in a very light sleep where you're sort of in a dreaming state, but sort of awake. It was very strange because I was thinking, but I knew I was asleep. I just remember knowing I was out cold, but still feeling like I was there somewhere, which made me worried that my 'sleep' would be like that the whole night. So, basically, I was worrying in my sleep.

I did get some good sleep, which is all that counts. I don't know if that weird feeling was a fluke or not, but if it wasn't then I definitely won't be taking any more sleeping pills! Anybody out there ever take Ambien before that's had weird experiences like that?

Fresh Meat

I feel like a piece of meat here!! I've never gotten this much attention in my life. I'm really starting to wonder what the hell is going on. I think it's because I'm from out of town. Yesterday some guys stopped by on an atv of some sort and were talking to Kevin and Ed. Later on I asked Ed what they wanted, or if they were just saying hi because they live in the neighborhood. Ed answered that they were saying hello, and Kevin yelled in from outside, "They came to meet you!" I laughed it off and he looked me dead in the eye and said "I'm as serious as a heart attack. Apparently the word's out that you're here." I still sorta didn't believe him, because, c'mon, am I really in an area that's so small-town that people are alerted when there's a new girl about?!

Today I got my answer. I was standing out front talking with Kevin and Ed when some guys went by on ATVs and one of them said, "there she is!" What the hell? Am I on display in a zoo or something, here? Look everyone, it's the fabled girl from Boston who's never been fishing. ooooh, ahhhhh!

I Schlagified the cabins.

Yesterday I replaced some doorknobs/deadbolts because the old ones were starting to stick. It was so bad that I actually got locked in one of the cabins once and had to take the thing apart to get out. When I went to Home Depot to pick up the doorknobs, Kevin told me not to get Kwikset, which was the existing brand. He said that brand sticks even when it's new, because it's crap! When I got back with my new Schlage hardware and went to work taking the old knobs off I was amazed to find that they were made of plastic inside!! I've never seen a door knob whose innards are plastic. I don't know if it's a common thing, but it just doesn't seem like a good idea! These seemed like older knobs, so I suppose they've stood the test of time in a way, but still. Plastic?

Oh well, they're working beautifully now, so that's all that counts. Now I know for the future to pay a little extra for Schlage. The inside of the Schlage knob/deadbolt was designed differently, too. I didn't have time to really check it out, but, like the nerd I am, I'll probably take it apart again at some point so I can see how it works/why it's different. Wow. I am so cool. I'm in Alaska, where there's amazingness all around and I'm looking forward to a time when I can take apart my doorknob.

Missing Things

For the first time in my life I understand what it's like to miss something. I really didn't understand before because I never really missed anything. I've always looked at it like it's no big deal because I know I'll see people again. What a horrible feeling this is.

Reading about how Sagan is meowing his head off while "looking for me," and about how Tyler says, "[tara's] in Laska, I can't find her," makes me miss home. I hate not being there for beings that don't understand why I'm gone, especially because it can't be explained to them. It's such a sad thought! It's also really sad to see fun guests go because I know I'll probably never see them again. I've learned what it feels like to miss something and be helpless and I hate it because it seems to have seeped into other parts of my life. I miss you people, damnit! Luckily it's not ruling my life yet. It would be in a sad way if I started counting down days until I can go home rather than savoring the number of awesome filled days I have left.

Smiley Rock Road

The unpaved road that connects my street to the paved main road is called Huske Rd. If you call it by name around here, most people won't know

what you're talking about. If you call it Smiley Rock Rd, they'll instantly understand. That's because of this little guy on the side of the road:

As if that isn't enough character, someone has recently been having a lot of fun on the road. First we just had a sign telling us not to feed the bears, which I assumed was from someone getting angry about people leaving fish by the river or something. Upon closer examination I realized it was a joke because it's signed by "Park Ranger McGillicuddy." Then there was a stuffed panda down the road a bit. Then someone added a moose to the tree the sign is on. Now there are stuffed animals everywhere. There are even two of them playing see-saw in the woods on a downed tree.

On the back of the sign it says "ya all come back now!"

It's too bad I don't have some sort of Red Sox stuffed animal I could plant someplace along the way. Why not, right?

I just wonder if it's one set of people doing it or if others have started to join in on the fun.

Sheet, Mang!

I've been folding and unfolding sheets for two days!! We've got a ton of them here and my project was to get them organized by size so that I don't have to fumble when I'm looking for a specific size. I think I finally have it all figured out, apart from a few queen or full size sheets that I may have misjudged. I'm really good at organizing, but not so good at keeping things organized. I'm working on it, though.

Today when I finally emerged from my cabin I helped the guys lift wall frames for the second floor of the new cabin. I spent the morning with my sheets project. I sort of like helping them out because I'm interested in the process. I'm not, however, looking forward to the framing that has to go up over the giant open space in the cabin. One of the walls is open from the first floor all the way up to the roof. That should be fun. I'm impressed with the amout they've done in just one week with only two guys working. They'll be putting the lam-beam up on Monday, which means the place will have a roof in no time. They definitely know what they're doing and I'm learning a lot from them.

They made fun of me because I was in my pajamas the whole day - baggy printed pajama pants and a giant hoodie. You know what, I don't think the sheets I'm sorting care what I look like! When I told them that they said, "the delivery guys do!" Huh?? Turns out I have a fan club here among the guys that have been delivering stuff for the new cabin. What's the deal here?!?! Do I have some special quality that attracts men from lumber yards? Alaska is a weird place. In Boston I attracted homeless people - here I attract men from lumber yards. There's something in the water here, I tell ya. I have to go to Home Depot tomorrow. . . wish me luck.

Bear vs. .44

Guns are quite common here, and, to be honest, I considered getting one before I came. Big wildlife is a real threat around here. It's one thing to learn to behave around bears if you do see them, which I've read a lot about, and is always the first line of defense. Beyond that, a gun and/or bear spray is your only hope. I really think guns and bear spray have the potential to just piss the bear off even more, which is never good news. At least with a gun you've got a bit more than piss-off potential - there's incapacitate/kill potential.

I didn't end up doing the gun thing because getting one up here proved to be too much of a pain, especially because I wasn't licensed in MA and I would have had to wait a while to get licensed to carry. Well, I'm in Alaska now, biotch!! I can't legally buy a gun here, but I can legally carry one. It just so happens that Kevin, one of the guys that's building the new cabin, got a gun while up here for the same reason I was thinking of getting one. When he first came down, I was talking about how I want to do more hiking but I don't feel comfortable doing it alone. A few days later I was sitting at his desk fixing his computer when he asked me if I'm comfortable with guns. I told him they didn't bother me in the least, so he said, "top drawer on the left if you ever need it."

Because you need a pretty big gun to cross that line from pissing off a bear to effectively protecting yourself from one, it's .44 calibre or nothing around here. Anyone you ask will say the same thing; you need a .44. The recoil on a gun like that is pretty substantial, which really impedes your control, especially if you're not used to it. The last thing any of us want is to be armed with a weapon we're not comfortable with, especially if we ever need to shoot it. So, what's the solution there, you say? A homemade target and shooting range! Yes, in Alaska your neighbors don't care if you draw circles on a piece of particle board and go to town on it to improve your aim. The noise is a familiar one to them. Heck, they might even join in!

Chooooooooocolate!

It was sad to see the Austrians go yesterday. I told him I love chocolate so Christian gave me some of his leftover chocolate from the climb because European chocolate is so much better. I can get the same brands in the US, but it's still not the same. They use different formulas for export because the US has weird laws regulating what percentages of things have to be in the chocolate to be able to label it a specific way. Ritter Sport dark and milk chocolate with hazelnuts and a Toblerone. He said they each had 2 kilos of chocolate with them for when they climbed the mountain. That's about 4.5lbs!! Yikes! He apologized for the shape the Toblerone is in - the packaging is beat to hell from being up on the mountain, as you can sort of see in the picture.
He also gave me a whole bunch of the leftover energy bars from the climb, which I haven't tried yet. I looked up one of the words on the packaging - it said 'fitness riegel,' which translates to 'fitness latch plate.' haha, I'm assuming it means 'fitness bar.'

I'm going to have Frenchy get me his address (they have to stop by there before the airport because she let them store the mountain climbing gear in her garage) so I can send him some marshmallows. They had never seen marshmallows before, nevermind roasted marshmallows, so they assumed they're not available at the stores at home.

This is random, but there was just a Total Gym commercial on and I happened to look up at it - Chuck Norris is rocking the 70s/80s 'Stache these days! Wowsa, that thing looks ridiculous, especially because his hair is short. If you're gonna go with the giant 'stache, go all the way, Chuck! You gotta balance it with the voluminous hair!

The American Way

Last night I sat by the fire with the Austrians again. I have to clarify what I said before, though, Christian and Gerhard are mountain climbers and Barbara is here visiting them for the last leg of their journey, so I don't think she's a mountain climber. Christian is headed back to Austria at the end of the week while Gerhard and Barbara stay behind to travel a bit more. I feel bad for them because when they get back from their trip they all have to work the next day! There is a 10 hour time difference between here and Austria! Ouch! I told Barbara to take the day off because she's an anaesthesiologist. I'm sure they'll be okay.

I had a good time talking with them last night. They're very intelligent and interesting people. I learned about a new way of building tunnels pioneered by the Austrians, which is something these guys are involved in I think because I'm assuming the new tunnel they're working on is being built that way. Usually in tunnel construction they blast out tons of rock and then cement the hell out of the inside. This new way they blast out the rock and then they pay attention to it for some time to see how the rock behaves on its own and they tailor the inner tube of the tunnel based on the rock behavior so that it can move with the rock instead of being crumbled away when the rock shifts over time (or at least that's how I understood it). I told them they were more than welcome to come fix The Big Dig! Turns out they do have a few offices in the US, too. They're building something in San Francisco right now, but I'm not sure what.

I've been talking with them about my plans after here and I mentioned I'm considering where in Europe I'd want to visit, so they told me about some areas. They've all traveled all around the world because other countries know how to have a vacation, damnit! They get 2 months vacation EVERY YEAR! It isn't just their professions, either, that's somewhat normal! We Americans need to work on that. There are a lot of things we need to work on! At one point, Gerhard asked me, "how is it that you got to be so critical of the American way of life?" hahahaha!! At first I thought I wasn't and I thought he asked because I was making fun of fried fish, talking about how gross it is and how it ruins the delicate flavor of fish. Before that I think I was making fun of the people that go through the drive through, get the supersize meal and then order a diet coke to offset it and be 'healthy.' And before that I was making fun of how Americans live by the clock when they eat at a restaurant so it's not a leisurely thing, and how Americans live by the clock in everything else, for that matter. So, yeah, I suppose I am critical of the American way of life.

Bank of America Incompetence

Victory! I got my Bank of America card yesterday! I'm still getting visits from the same Bank of America servers directly to the Bank of America posts. I had one visit that came from a Bank of America server from a google blog search for 'hate Bank of America.' I wonder if it was my buddy James.
I listened to part of the conversation I had with an associate and it's hysterical. She has no idea what to say to me other than her scripted lines, so she's silent the majority of the time. She was the 11th person I talked to about this issue in 3 days and here I'm trying to figure out why Bank of America customer service is stupid, why I had to go through so much grief and how I can better get to the information I need in the future, and she is either silent or just repeats that I'll get my card on Monday - Typical Bank of America customer service representative. Earlier in this conversation I told her I had a FedEX tracking number and asked her a question about the shipping and she put me on hold to find out if they still use FedEX! If I have a FedEX tracking number, it's pretty safe to say they used FedEX to ship it! It's also pretty safe to say she isn't the brightest one! Here's part of the conversation:

S'mores time with the Austrians

I hung out by the fire last night with the Austrians. I brought out marshmallows before they ate dinner then before I came out to roast them I was talking to Christian while he was using my wine key and I told him I'd be out in a minute to roast marshmallows. He asked, "is this something all Americans do?" I, of course, asked if he had ever heard of s'mores or made them. He said no and I promptly went out there to show them the way. . . They all watched me roast a marshmallow before they tried their hand at it, which was an interesting moment. All eyes on me while I slowly roast a marshmallow. I'm not one of those people that lets it catch on fire, I take the time to roast it perfectly. After I showed them the trick to pull the marshmallow off of the stick using the graham, they were sold. S'mores are such a universal fire thing here, so it's funny to come across people that have never heard of them. It's also a little exciting because I got to introduce them to the wonderful world of roasted marshmallows and s'mores.

They were speaking in English mostly, but they'd occasionally exchange a few words here and there in German. It's amazing how much I understood without formally knowing the language. A lot of times it would be one of them asking the other to clarify an English term or metric conversion, and a lot of the time I'd just answer the question even though it was asked in German. A lot of German and English words are very similar, but it still surprised me how much I understood.

We spoke a lot about the similarities and differences of social tendencies in the US and Europe. Really interesting stuff to hear the European opinion and to hear how their world is treating them right now. I can't remember the exact place they live in Austria, but they're a half hour from Italy and Germany and 1.5 hours from Switzerland. What a great location, right? I think it's someplace near Innsbruck. With its great proximity, I may have found a good European location to stop in when I go cruising around Europe in the Spring.

Austrian Mountain Climbers

3 Austrian mountain climbers just arrived at the cabins. They're currently building a fire out back to cook dinner. I haven't spoken to all of them for an extended period, but the only info I've gotten so far is that one of them is a geologist and they've been traveling for 7 weeks through Canada and Alaska, climbing mountains and skiing glaciers. They're pretty badass. Can't wait to talk to them more! There will certainly be an update about them!

Pictures backlog

I have all of these pictures I take that I mean to put with blog entries but I never manage to download the pictures often enough. I'm going to add them to the correct posts, but I figured I'd put them here, too, so that you don't have to hunt for them.

Eagle in a nest in Anchor Point, AK
Ready to obliterate spiders

This sucker was in my car. I sprayed him with 409 then tried to take a picture to identify him but while I was trying to do that I noticed another of the same type of spider floating through the air toward me.

Bad picture, but this is the bunny that lives in my yard.
The Harley guys (Jim and Jimmy)
I think it's Mt. Iliamna, but I still don't have them straight so I could be wrong. It's one of the four active volcanoes across the Cook Inlet from the Kenai Peninsula.
I don't even have to say much, here, do I? I do want you to know that it was 45 degrees out!
If you enlarge this one you'll be able to see the volcano in the background and there's an eagle flying over, too. This was a neat area that sloped down to the ocean. If someone showed me this picture and I had to guess where it was taken It'd be a long time before I guessed Alaska (at least before spending time here).
Looking across the Cook Inlet from just north of Homer, AK
EEEEEEVIL mailbox. They also had one of the those mobile homes that's shaped like a twinkie painted the same way. It was a little coffee hut. No Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks here, just coffee shacks. I sorta like it.
Anchorage. It's common to see signs with dents/holes from being shot at. It's also common to see paintball marks on signs. Guns, guns for everyone!
Purdy. Better enlarged. Click on it to do that.
Dumbest bumper sticker ever. I wanted to smack her.
Fire pit fun with the greeks.
Eagle. I saw a lot of them that day. A lot of them hang around Homer, which is where I went, but I actually took this on the way. I was probably in Kasilof or somewhere around there.

KDLL Summer Solstice Music Festival

Last night I volunteered at the Summer Solstice Music Festival. The solstice is a big deal around here because it's actually noticeable that it's the longest day of the year with all of the daylight. It reminded me of 4th of July at home in a way. At home one area of town is mobbed for the festivities for a few days. It's similar to that except there isn't really an area that everyone gravitates toward because of the layout around here, instead, they have festivals everywhere. I could feel the presence of the celebrations even though I didn't know where all of the celebrations were. They had those big flashing construction signs up telling people not to drink and drive and the stores were busy with people getting BBQ supplies.

The festival I volunteered at was run by a radio station and the Kenai Peninsula B&B association. I wasn't sure when I'd be able to get there because I had to wait for my debit card to be delivered. The festival started at Noon, but I wasn't able to get there until after 7 because of the stupid Bank of America issue. It's too bad because I told them I'd help most of the day, and that I'd just head in right after I got the package. So much for that! I ended up stationed at the gate selling people tickets and I had a really good time. When I arrived there was a guy, Dwight, directing traffic by pointing toward the lot while pretending to dance and play the banjo. Quite amusing. I ended up hanging out with him and two ladies, Tina and Delora, from the B&B association for the rest of the night. What a hysterical and rowdy bunch. Delora and Tina were good laughers. We had to give the people tickets that they had to bring to the B&B association table inside to be eligible for door prizes, so we'd give them the ticket and tell them our spiel about where to go and what it gets them. If I had a nickel for every time some joker said, "but I don't need any doors!"
My eye color looks wildly different in different lighting and depending on what I'm wearing. Some times they're a less pronounced grey blue and other times they're brighter. The lighting must have been just right because people kept commenting that I had blue eyes. One guy with his two kids bought tickets from me then he just stood there for a second silently then he said matter of factly, "you have blue eyes." So, I said, "yes, I do." and he replied, "just thought I'd state the obvious," and walked away. What?!?!?! An old guy with a big beard was standing near me when I was inside the festival and he turned to me and said, "I'm sorry I keep staring at you, your eyes are really blue." I didn't even notice he was staring at me in the first place, but alright.
There really are a lot of men here in comparison to women and they're awfully eager. I guess what they say about Alaska is true. The more I get out around here, the more I notice it. When I was reading about the area beforehand, I came across something where this girl was saying that she was relatively average, but she felt like a supermodel the way people looked at her around here.
At the gate a group of Mexicans came in who spoke very little english, so that was fun trying to tell them where to bring their raffle tickets. One of the ladies ended up just walking them over there. About 10 minutes after they went in another group of Mexicans came up to the desk and asked if we had seen a group of Mexicans. I don't know why, but I thought that was funny. "have you seen any Mexicans?!" ha. They all spoke very little English and were definitely new to the area. One of the women there informed me that they're illegal immigrants. There's a canning company in the area that buys Mexicans one way tickets to Alaska to work and then after the summer is over the illegal immigrants call immigration on themselves (a la Cheech and Chong) and get shipped home for free. That canning company should be fined for those practices. Way to make sure dollars earned in the US stay in the US! Jerks.

Toward the end I got to go in and see some of the music. The singer of the last band had a really good voice. That is, until he tried to do Ants Marching by Dave Matthews. He did well at first, but he was following Dave Matthews' style of singing too closely, which is unique and as far as I'm concerned shouldn't be mimicked to the T in a cover because it will never sound right. Nonetheless, they were pretty good. The bands were all pretty good except one guy that sounded like bad karaoke. I swear he must have been drunk.

I headed home after the festival ended at midnight. On my way I thought there were people walking along the highway in the distance, but as I got closer I realized it was moose. It was a mom with two babies. I've never seen one with two kids, it's usually just one. She was trying to cross the road but was freaked out, probably by the headlights, so she kept starting to go then changing her mind and doubling back. It looked funny because they're awkward and look dumb when they try to make a quick maneuver and the babies were following her every move so they were just scurrying around her, not knowing what to do. Finally they made a run for it and they all bolted into the woods.

Bank of America still sucks. (kinda)

I was assured that my card would be delivered by courier today. Is it any surprise that it didn't come? Another one for Bank of America!! At about 3:30 the day was close to ending so I figured I'd give them a call and see if I could get any information about the delivery. When I called lost/stolen card services I was told that the package would be arriving on Monday by FedEX, not today. The associate promptly blamed it on FedEX. I was pissed they don't ever do anything they say they will, so I asked him if I could speak to customer service and he informed me I was talking to customer service. I told him my entire plight and asked him why 12 different departments in Bank of America all seem to tell me 12 different things? He stupidly, like another representative I spoke to in the past, blamed it on the bank being a large company, and said that maybe one of the associates went above and beyond to fix the situation. I told him that being too big is no excuse and shouldn't every associate go above and beyond to help a customer, because Bank of America is supposed to have 'Higher Standards' per their Ads. Then I asked him if, perhaps, those 12 different departments had 12 different policy books, or if there's just one policy book for the entire company?
He kept telling me that he's sorry there is nothing he can do about FedEX not delivering it when they said they would, and could he help me with anything else? Each time he said that, I said, "yes, you can answer my question. Why do 12 different departments tell me 12 different things." Then he'd spiel for a minute, not knowing what to say and finally he'd ask if he could help me with anything else, at which point I'd ask him to answer my question. . . the same question I've been asking over and over, "WHY DO 12 DIFFERENT DEPARTMENTS TELL ME 12 DIFFERENT THINGS?!?!?!"
Finally he told me that he could put a note in for this to be investigated by Executive Relations and that I'd receive a letter with the findings. I told him I want a phone call, not a letter. He told me it isn't possible. I told him I've heard of people being told the bank will get back to them in the future and the bank never contacts them again, so how can I be sure this gets done? He told me he'd give me the address and I could handle it directly, in which case he woudln't be putting in the investigation request because it doesn't make sense to do it twice. I said, "no, I'd rather we both do it, because I might get two different answers (if the past is any indication)!"

I was really mean to him because I'm really mad they haven't done one thing right and nobody takes responsibility or even suggests a solution, they just say their scripted apology instead of answering simple questions. After I hung up with him I called FedEX because I got the tracking number from the Bank of America guy. Turns out that with the type of delivery they picked they had to check the 'saturday delivery' box if they wanted it delivered saturday, which they didn't do. The Bank of America guy said they always use FedEX, so I'm assuming they would know this, right?? So, as I pondered this, the woman at FedEX said she'd look up one more thing for me. Turns out FedEX doesn't do Saturday delivery or overnight delivery to my Zip code AT ALL and it would have been impossible for them to overlook that fact when they were filling out the delivery request because it tells them this right out. So, they told me it would be here when there is no way it possibly could have made it here. I'm currently trying to call Bank of America back right now. I just called customer service and the phone system asked me to choose which type of customer serivce I wanted and in what language, then once I got through that it asked me to enter my account number so it could pass it on to the associate. Once I entered that it told me that customer service is closed!! TELL ME THAT IN THE BEGINNING!!!!

Got in touch with Bank of America by calling lost card services. I spoke to one person that told me the scripted apology over and over and said that they didn't know FedEX doesn't deliver to my Zip on Saturday. I told her sorry isn't good enough anymore and there was silence on the other end of the line. I went in circles with her for a bit and finally asked her if there's someone that can tell me why I've gone through so much crap in the past few days. She finally agreed to talk to a manager and put me on hold. The manager came on and was actually really good. Turns out that their computer system isn't directly linked to FedEX so it doesn't tell them that they can't deliver to certain Zip codes on Saturdays and that this is the first time they've run into this problem so they didn't know it existed. They're going to make a policy change (I'll believe it when I see it) in that regard. I told him while they're updating the policy book they should put in there that employees should never, never, never, NEVER, EVER use the bank being too large as an excuse for some lacking area. haha, I think I'm funny. He's looking into the other buffoons I spoke to through this whole ordeal and 'coaching' them on the policy book. That's right, bitches. Then to express Bank of America's remorse, they're sending me a $50 gift card, and they're even sending it to Alaska without any problems! It's really a shame you have to be a big jerk in this world to get through to large companies. Oh, one more thing, I recorded the last few times I've called Bank of America. I'll consider posting one of them at some point to show how stupid they are and what a giant jerk I am when I get the run around and get pissed. Stupid big companies.

Construction zone

Yesterday I had to go to SBS (Spenard Builders Supply) to pick up an order for the new cabin. Kevin asked me to go, because, let's face it, I'm their GopherBitch, and said it was a bit of a rush because they were nearing a point that they wouldn't be able to continue without the stuff. I said I just had to change (I was wearing the same thing I wore the day before because, once again, I'm in the woods and who cares?) then I'd head out. He said "You're fine, you don't need to change. It's a lumber yard," so I just put some boots on and went. He's right, who cares if I'm a dirty bum at a lumber yard?
When I got there I had to pick out a sledgehammer, which is just funny, because I had no idea what they needed it for and there are a bunch to choose from. I picked the big one. Turns out it was for knocking things into place while framing and I picked the right one. Then I had to go around back to get the wood. The guy there looked at me with a half smile as if to say, "you must be lost." I gave him my slip and we got the wood/ladders. Just as I was about to leave he said, "I know this isn't very professional, but would you go out with me sometime?" Haha! It caught me off guard, especially in my gross, unshowered, 2nd-day-outfitted state. I suppose I was a less intimidating prospect in my grody state. It's just funny because of my earlier conversation with Kevin.

Kevin & Ed
Frenchy has two guys here building the third and final new cabin. Kevin is Frenchy's kayaking buddy from Florida, and Ed is Kevin's friend. They're characters. Kevin seems to have done quite a few different things in his life, but always goes back to construction. He's a professional wildlife photographer, was ski patrol in Colorado, a whitewater rafting guide, and a few other things. Ed was described to me as your run of the mill Kentucky hick. He's a laid back guy with an awkward sense of humor, but it works for him. They both have lots of contracting experience and seem to know what they're doing. I've been helping them with the framing because there's only two of them and they're 'feeble old men.' I've never really seen something built from the ground up so it'll be a learning experience. Those framed walls are heavy! I was really just a supplement while they took the brunt of the weight because my arms are the size of twigs. I could tell I was definitely helping, though, because of the amount of weight I could feel I was pushing. Other than the occasional help with the cabin I'm pretty much their errand girl. I don't really care as long as I'm not doing it the entire day. When I first came here I was told I would be working 3 hours a day at the very most, which hasn't turned out to be true because of the building of the cabin and it actually wasn't really true before the building of the cabin. If I take a trip into town it takes an hour roundtrip, and that's if I only have one stop at the edge of town. If I have to go to Home Depot it's 40min one way. As long as I'm not expected to be around here all the time and I can fit in some stuff I want to do for fun then it'll work out. I didn't come here to work 8hrs a day 7 days a week!
Speaking of work, I have to go get the cabins ready for an arrival then I have to go volunteer at the Solstice Festival, which I'll probably have a lot to say about later on.

The Plumber

We've finally got our well issues figured out. Ray Chumley (The septic guy. I like saying his name.) came out with a plumber and they took care of it. This plumber, whose name I can't remember right now, was hysterical. He showed small traces of humor at first, but it was the kind of humor you use around people you don't know, very reserved. When he got a little more comfortable with all of us he let loose. When the water went on again and the toilet was filling up one of the guys said, "I hear the toilet filling up!" and he replied, "It sounds a little differently to me. . .all I hear is CHA CHING CHA CHING!" What cojones! There was more where that came from, too. It was hysterical.

When he was working on the kitchen sink he was telling us about how his 18 year old son just wrecked his truck for the third time. He hit a parked car in a parking lot and maintains that the car was 'parked funny.' But, c'mon, if it's parked it's not moving and you should be able to avoid it, right? No, he t-boned it. The priceless thing about it is that the car he hit belonged to his driving instructor!! Nice job teaching that one, lady! Now, that's irony. Can you imagine if the case was brought to a court how funny the fault arguments would be?

There will be more of him, yet, because he's doing the plumbing for the new cabin that's going up right now.

Hello, Bank of America, let me count the reasons why I hate you.

After I posted about Bank of America yesterday, I got several visits from Bank of America servers in different spots in the country. They must crawl the web to see what people are saying about them. Well, Bank of America, if you're reading this, GO TO HELL! Oh, I have a few more things to say while I'm at it. (regular blog readers, you may as well just stop reading now because I'm now directing my attention to ranting about how horrible Bank of America is. Not good reading)
1. your phone systems are horrible. I know someone up there must have thought your fancy automated phone system that people can talk to instead of pressing buttons was a good idea, but it's junk. Pressing a button is 1000X easier than having to say "checking" over and over and over until it understands what I'm saying. I know what you're thinking - I already found the setting in there that makes it so I don't have to speak to it when I call for my balance, but that doesn't help me if I need to do ANYTHING else in your system.

2. Your phone systems are horrible for more reasons than #1. If I'm calling card services to talk to someone because I lost my debit card, the LAST thing your automated system should ever be doing is asking me for my 16 digit card number. I LOST THE CARD!! And if you don't have the number, you have to wait forever to get the system to let you talk to a real person because there is nothing you can press to skip that option. I had to go through that 4 times yesterday because the idiots at your company kept calling me without leaving messages and they didn't even know why! Which brings me to the outstanding customer service:

3. Would it kill you to have all departments on the same page? One person is telling me that I can't do something, another is telling me I can, a third is telling me the service doesn't exist, a fourth is connecting me to VISA without even listening to my problem and a fifth is telling me they're 'sorry, but the bank is too big so they'll just transfer me to the maintenance closet, because the janitor probably knows better than any of their associates.' One woman I spoke to when I called back after a missed call wouldn't even let me finish telling her what was going on, she kept interrupting me telling me she didn't need to hear what happened. Oh, you're right, ma'am, knowing my current situation with your stupid bank has no bearing on how you might best serve me right now! How silly of me to think that. The only people I've ever had any luck with at Bank of America actually act human and admit that the bank isn't perfect, but they're willing to figure out a way to help - all of the other idiots speak in a scripted voice tone and say "I'm sorry for your inconvenience, ma'am, but we value your business." If you really value my business you'll explain to me what the heck went wrong and tell me why it happened so that if I'm in the situation again when I speak to the first person I'll know what to ask for so that I can get to the correct department right away!

4. Stop micromanaging your employees with stupid scripts and lines they have to repeat over and over. Either that or hire actors to man the phones so they at least sound convincing. Even if you did hire actors, those scripts you use sound. . . scripty. People don't speak that way and people don't want to be spoken to that way. I want to talk to a human, not a robot.

5. Though my problem has been resolved I'm still considering pulling my account from your horrible bank and while I'm at it I should really consider starting a smear campaign on Youtube to drag you down to the pits of hell where you came from. The fact that I've had similar issues dealing with your telephone associates a few times in the past tells me that you don't give a crap about my business and you're also not about to change your practices in dealing with customers. And to think I almost signed up so that I could trade stocks directly through an account linked to the bank. It's easy to have all of my services in one place on the web, but NOTHING is worth the annoyance I had to go through yesterday for a simple problem with a simple solution.

Here, just to make sure Bank of America finds this:
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America
Bank of America

Grocery store woes

The grocery store is so disappointing here. I can't find any of the weird food that I eat at home. I couldn't even find cream today! My selection was half & half or heavy whipping cream, with no in-between. Fresh herbs are a joke here, too. If a store has them, they're in small packages, really expensive, and they're wilted and browning. I'm trying to grow some dill and cilantro, but everyone knows how proficient I am at keeping plants alive. No fresh herbs for me this summer! Frenchy has a membership to costco, so I'll have to do some bulk buying to keep costs down. The only problem with that is that the majority of the food I like to eat is perishable. Everything would be bad before I had time to eat it all. At home the way I ate was to buy small amounts of fresh foods and just go to the grocery store on a regular basis. I'd usually buy one fresh herb and just use it all week. Here I don't have the luxury of just running down the street to the grocery store to grab a few things, I have to plan. Ha! Me? Planning? The nearest grocery store is about 10-12 miles away, but I think it's also the most expensive.

In a true spawn-of-lorrahn fashion, I did get some cracker barrel cheese to make baked mac'n'cheese with. They only had the orange kind for the extra sharp, though, which creeps me out. I just don't like orange cheese. I also pulled another lorrahn and got potatoes and lipton onion soup mix to make roasted potatoes with. Just blame all of my food buying habits on her.
I didn't buy any chocolate, though. Papa and Phyllis and Erica got me plenty of that before I left home! Amazingly I still have some left. Speaking of stuff people got me for the trip, I never got to mention anything to Leah about the WetOnes. I thought I wouldn't have much use for them in the beginning. I figured I'd use them once in a while. I used an entire container on the ride up. I was driving for such long periods that I just felt nasty so they came in handy.

DIE Bank of America!! (Update)

Okay, so I lost my bank card. Big surprise, right? I lose them every couple of years without fail. I didn't want to go through the hassle of having it mailed home then having someone mail it to me here because it just takes too long, so I figured I'd ask the bank if there's any way to send it directly to where I am now. Big mistake.

I'm on the phone with person #1. She takes all of my information, blocks the card and tells me that they can, in fact, get the card directly to me if they transfer me to Emergency Card Services. Sounds good, so I say yes. She transfers me to them, a guy answers, asks how he can help me and I tell him that I lost my card, I'm not at home so they sent me to you so I can have it sent directly to me. He says, "hold on" and transfers me directly to Visa. The woman at visa asks me right off the bat if I'm eligible for emergency card services with Bank of America. I told her Bank of America had transferred me to her, so I sure hope so! She says, "great, that answers my question" then proceeds to ask me every question about every detail of my life for a half hour. Finally, she has to call Bank of America to get the okay and I'd be all set. She comes back and says, "sorry, ma'am, you're not eligible for emergency card services, so we can't send it to you."
I LOST IT. Why the HELL did I have to answer 8,000 questions if they weren't going to help me? I immediately told her to transfer me back to Bank of America and it turned out the BoA person was actually on the line already listening to me get pissed off. I always feel bad getting angry at these people on the phone because it isn't their fault, it's the person before them that screwed me over. I yelled, nonetheless. Seriously, why wouldn't they tell me in the first place whether or not I'm eligible for this service, or at the very least tell me that I'll have to answer some questions to determine eligibility? They wouldn't even tell me what the eligibility requirements were, and their excuse was that Bank of America is big and has a lot of departments so it's impossible for everyone to know the rules of every department. my response was, "Exactly, you're too damned big." I was really pissed and the woman, who was huffy and puffy at me asked me what I'd like her to do for me and I told her I wanted to speak to someone that knew what the hell was going on, so she transferred me to her supervisor. When the supervisor answered she said, "you requested a supervisor?" I said, "No, I requested someone that knows what the hell is going on in this bank!" She was stupid, too. She told me that her department is the only one that can determine eligibility for the emergency card service and the other departments don't know what it is, so they couldn't have possibly known, which is why that happened. I asked her why, then, didn't they send me to their department in the first place?!?! She didn't have an answer for that one. I should close out my account there. This is a big lesson for why I should stick to smaller banks.
The last person I spoke to (the supervisor) said they couldn't use Emergency card services, but they could express it to me where I am. I told her I'm in Alaska and she said they don't express to Alaska. Very nice. I ended up just telling them to send it to my house and I'd have family send it to me, like I would have done in the first place had I known it would be such an issue.

After I wrote the above portion I spoke to 3 more people at Bank of America because they called me twice for some reason. Both times I missed the call because of crap cell phone service out here and both times I called back only to get some idiot on the other end that didn't know why they called. Finally I called customer service to tell them to stop calling and the guy there actually solved the entire problem. He said that every single person I spoke to, even the supervisor, didn't know what they were talking about because they apparently don't read their updated policy books on a regular basis. He's sending my card up here and the silver lining is that I got to take a customer satisfaction survey after the call. I love it when you're pissed at a company and you're randomly selected for their phone survey! The guy I spoke to got great ratings, but there was also an option where you could speak for 30 seconds to describe how you felt about Bank of America! I'm sure they get a lot of colorful remarks on that one. Jerks.

Another update: I had ANOTHER missed call from the same number that was calling me before. I called back AGAIN because I can't understand why they're calling. Is there something more I need to do? When I called back the person said she didn't know why they called, but she could transfer me to customer service. I told her, so, your department called me and you have no idea what for? So when you call people and they call you back you guys just guess about what business they need to take care of? She said, "well, no. . . " then continued, "If you answer some questions I can pull up your account and find out." HELLO!! Isn't that what she should have done in the first place instead of telling me she didn't know anything? Of course you don't know anything if you don't even know which customer you're talking to, dumbass. I really hope I have service if they call me again. I've been such a witch to them the entire day. That's what happens when you have to speak to 9 different people to get a problem resolved. That's right, 9. I counted. Whenever I have to deal with them in the future I'm going to ask for their name and department right at the beginning of the conversation because I really wish I had that info right now. The helpful guy actually said he was looking up the people and was going to 'bust some heads.'
I've had an incredibly similar situation with them like this in the past, too. I was told I had to be transferred to a different department, where they wouldn't help me either and it turned out the woman I spoke with before screwed something up on my account by not doing something she told me she did. I asked the woman I was speaking with for the prior representatives name and she told me she didn't have access to that information,' so when I was again transferred and finally found someone that was helpful, I found out that they can ALL tell who I've been speaking with on the phone previously! ahhhhh!

What's extra fun about this update is that I went to the laundromat today and I found my bank card while sorting through the sheets in the back of my car. Fun!

Baby bird

while walking across the way to one of the cabins I found a little bird that may or may not have been a finch just sitting there. It was odd because 1. he didn't move when I approached and 2. there were no structures above he could have come from except the roof of the cabin, which doesn't seem to have any good birds nest spots. He wasn't a tiny baby, but I could tell he was young, probably didn't do so well the first time out of the nest. I picked him up and put him up on the steps hoping that would give him enough height to fly, but it didn't work, he did more of a tumblefly down the steps. Poor little guy. Kevin (I know I keep mentioning him, I'll talk more about him next post. He's one of the guys that's building the new cabin) said I should just get a cage and raise him. I walked around with him for a bit half trying to find a good place to put him and half deciding if I wanted to try to keep him. I'm ill equipped to nurture anything so I ended up finding a nice branch for him that seemed high enough that he might attempt to fly and possibly succeed this time. Hopefully. I feel a little sad about it, but I'm trying not to worry. Mother Nature.

The Harley Guys

The Harley guys rolled in last night and they were a laugh. Jim and Jim, or, Jim and Jimmy, to differentiate. They were decked out in all harley gear, probably right down to their skivvies by the looks of it. They were older guys, possibly old enough to be my grandparent. They were incredibly laid back guys, one of them almost to the point of being incoherent. They just liked to hang out, ride their bikes, drink canadian club whiskey and chat. Before they came, Kevin told me to make sure I had ice ready. When I showed the Harley guys around the cabin and we got to the kitchen, the first question was whether or not we had ice. They cooked some catfish for dinner and made me eat some even though I'd already had dinner. I glad I did try it because it was really good.

Later on one of them told me if I'd start a fire for them he'd sing kumbaya. Obviously I jumped at the chance, but when I went off to do some stuff while they finished eating he started a fire himself. Damn! He even started it boyscout style with no matches. It takes me a bit to start one with matches, so kudos to him. Sitting around the fire with them was fun because they had some good stories from their military days and more. They wouldn't tell me the years that anything happened, though, because they didn't want to date themselves. At one point one of them said, "'74 was a good year," and the other agreed that is was a "great year," to which I replied, "I wouldn't know!" It was also fun to sit around the fire with them because I brought stuff for s'mores. Seeing guys roasting marshmallows and eating s'mores while they're in full Harley gear (I'm talking leather chaps and all that good stuff) is just one of those things that somehow defies logic, which is why I brought out the s'mores stuff in the first place. It's funny how easy it is to judge tough looking guys on Harleys. They're generalized like crazy, which is silly. Maybe it's the leather, but, when you think about it, leather is the best thing you can wear if you're going to be out in the elements zipping down the road at 70mph. The leather isn't to assert toughness or to be intimidating looking, it's practical. They're marshmallows under all that gear.

One funny story they told me was about Frenchy. They stayed at the B&B in Anchorage for a night. While one was going to bed, the other said he was going to go out for a ride because he wasn't ready for bed yet. Frenchy jumped at the chance and asked if she could go and he welcomed her. A bit later he felt bad and decided to tell her where he was really going. A strip club! Actually, he corrected me every time I called it a strip club because it was a 'high class establishment, not a strip club.' I was surprised to hear that she didn't go because she isn't easily phased. Turns out she opted not to go because her cousins' last night in town so she didn't want to be out at a strip club all night. Reasonable.

Watching them interact was also pretty hysterical. They seem to have been friends for some time and knew each other well. Jim was making fun of Jimmy for getting ice cream at a place they stopped at down the road, commenting that he'd never seen him eat ice cream in his life. I didn't catch on to the significance of their banter until Jimmy finally said, "yeah, she was a looker," meaning the girl scooping the ice cream. He still wouldn't admit she was the only reason he got ice cream, though, and kept insisting that he likes ice cream and Jim must just never see him eat it, etc. So, of course, I asked him what flavor ice cream he got. He had NO CLUE. Haha! Men!

They rode up here through Canada from Illinois, except they took the other road in Canada. What a ride it must have been on motorcycles. It was their last night before heading back down, so hopefully it was a good one. They certainly entertained me. Oh yeah, and Jim fixed the washing machine this morning before he left. I came around the corner in the house to find him balancing the washer as he tipped it forward and tried to look around at the back, so I ended up holding it while he fixed it. Guests do the darndest things.

Manville at the cabins today

Today I have lots going on here. It's going to be workermanville here.
First I have to receive a shipment from Home Depot for building the final cabin here. That means I get to figure out where the heck to put all of the construction materials. fun!
Then Kevin and Ed are coming down to start construction. Kevin is Frenchy's Kayaking buddy from Florida who came up to help her out and build the last cabin here because she already had the foundation poured and didn't want it to sit too long. He's got a guy, Ed, with him to help out, who was described as 'your run of the mill hick from kentucky.' I met them last week already.
Also, Ray Chumley, the septic guy, might be by today to clear out the main line because we've got rocks and sand in it. That also means a plumber would be here for hours cleaning all of the valves of sand.
Then, Finally, I've got two guests coming. Frenchy got the reservation yesterday and called me to let me know last night. The Canadians that were here a bit ago met these guests-to-be and recommended the place. The guests will probably be in late because they're headed down to homer for the day and then they're headed back up here afterwards. Frenchy told me they're two Harley riding guys and that, "maybe I could score a ride. . ." I thought that was pretty funny. Of course I had to joke back and say, "ooh, harley guys, maybe I'll just go down to Homer with them." When Frenchy replied, "want me to have them stop for you," I realized she wasn't kidding. I said no, so hopefully two hells angels don't show up here telling me to hop on.

Know what all of this means? Tonight I have to stay in Spider Cabin. The morning after I went bug crazy on the cabin I went to check it out and found a whole bunch of dead spiders dangling from threads all around the cabin. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I did one of those indoor bug foggers, too, so my cabin was poisoned for a few days. I have to go in there today and wash some surfaces so I don't poison myself. I should probably clean the spider carnage the fogging left behind, too. No more walking into spiderwebs, hopefully.

Denali: The people eater

A little over a week ago a mountain climber was airlifted off of Mt. Mckinley with an ankle injury. He was taken to the hospital and walked out under his own power in a matter of minutes. People are saying they think he faked injury to get airlifted off of the mountain. What a scumbag. He should have to pay the costs for the airlift out of pocket for being an idiot. There are people around here who think that any time you are rescued from McKinley you should have to pay all costs for the rescue. Some people are actually mad that they're even letting people climb the mountain because 50% of the time rescue workers have to help climbers down after a failed attempt. That's right, 50% success rate. It's constant to hear about that mountain around here in the news. They're constantly searching for lost climbers and rescuing people who couldn't handle the route they chose. Is all of this paid by park entrance fees? Most likely.

I haven't decided how I feel about this issue. I think maybe the climber should be prepared to pay a portion of the rescue fees, because it isn't like they're doing an everyday task. They're taking on a huge challenge that they should be prepared for. At first I was thinking it might be bad to make them pay because they might unnecessarily push themselves on the mountain, which is extremely dangerous. When I thought about it more I realized that probably wouldn't be the case. They would probably be a little more cautious and smarter about their climb because, if they're a well-prepared climber, which I would hope they are, they should be smart enough to know that pushing themselves is exactly what will cause them to have to be rescued. I don't know, there's too much to consider, I can't decide.

Tigahhhh

Will Tiger ever stop dominating? Recovering from his 3rd knee surgery and he still comes out on top. Jeesh.

Speaking of sports, how 'bout those Celts? I'm so isolated from the world of Boston sports. I gotta start reading articles online or something, because I've missed some major events, here.

Evil Looking

I was thinking about spiders today and how they just look evil. I thought of it because I saw a caterpillar crawling on the window sill and just left it alone, while hours earlier I had killed several spiders that weren't doing anything to me. I thought about why I spared the caterpillar and not the spiders. I really think in some way it comes down to looks.

It's funny how shapes of things can decide if they look evil or not. I was reminded of something I saw a while back about the making of Disney's Aladdin where they were talking about how they came up with how the characters looked. They were noting how the bad guy has lots of points and harsh lines, while the good guys have softer, curved features. A while after I was thinking of this I was watching an old movie from 1963 called The Courtship of Eddie's Father. There was a scene where the kid, Eddie, was telling his dad that he likes a woman his dad is seeing and why he likes her. He said one of the reasons he likes her is because she doesn't have thin eyes, she has rounder ones, and she has a medium-sized bust, not a big one. The reason he said he knew based on these features that she must be a good person is because all of the villains in comic books have thin eyes and a big bust. It was odd I ended up seeing that since I was thinking about it earlier - denoted evil through appearance.

I wonder how this sort of thing came about. Do we inherently associate sharp harsh features and shapes with things that are bad? Do we think this way because nature actually works that way or have we been trained by culture to think this way? If every single movie and comic book uses the same signals to denote evil, is it because the ones before them did it and that's what people will understand, or is it something built into us? Does a shark look evil because we know it's dangerous, or does it actually look dangerous? Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Ouch, My Neck!!

I just pulled a muscle in my neck. OUCH. I went to stretch and I heard a gross pop in my neck and now it hurts like hell and I have limited range of motion. Last night I didn't sleep in my cabin because I wanted to give the spider evacuation/carnage the night to dissipate. I slept on the couch in one of the other cabins. I didn't see the point in sleeping in a bed because I'll just have to change the sheets after so it's ready for a guest. The couch sleeping may have aggravated my neck, who knows. Anyway, it's going to make it awfully difficult to do anything productive around here. I was hoping to sweep all of the hanging evacuees from the eaves of my cabin so I can get in there, but that will be difficult if I can't really tilt my head back. . . Bugs are ruling my life.

I don't fare well with bugs

Whoa. I'm currently in freak out mode, here. I was on the verge of a panic attack not too long ago. I was using this leftover bug killer stuff I found to spray the perimeter and eaves of my cabin when I came across dun dun DUUUNN. . . a yellowjacket nest in the beginning stages in the eave above my front door. It was 10% interesting and 90% frightening. Interesting because it was kinda cool to see the start of a nest, but frightening because I'm me. I stood there for a minute looking at it, stunned. It looked like there was only one bee there tending, so I decided to go for a bold move and spray it with the insect killer I had in my hand. I sprayed once and sorta hit it, then I sprayed again and soaked it because it was a continuous stream thingy. All of a sudden the bee went flying off at me so of course I dropped what I was holding and ran to one of the other cabins for dear life. I'm not kidding when I tell you I was practically shaking when I got inside the cabin and slammed the door. The bee didn't make it in after me, thank God.

So, of course the next step was to go directly to the store and buy everything they sell that kills bees. Well, I didn't go right there, I waited in the house for a while because What if he was waiting outside for me?!?! I realize how crazy I sound when it comes to bees, don't worry. At the store I got a fogger that kills most bugs, a wasp killer to get rid of the nest and one of those indoor foggers. I got the indoor fogger because when I ran away I left my cabin door open, so who knows if he's inside. I'm not even going to talk how much willpower it took to go into my cabin before I left for the store - I had to get my car key, which meant walking directly under the nest. Twice.

When I got back home the first step was to take care of the bees nest. They say to spray the nest at dusk or dawn when bees are less active. Well, that isn't exactly an option here because of the constant sunlight. I bravely sprayed the hive without a hitch. It was foam so it engulfed the entire thing which made me feel better.

The second step was using the fogger around the eaves and perimeter of the cabin to get rid of the spiders. I was doing okay with spiders until I saw that GIANT one the other day. That put me over the edge because it looked like a black widow. Even though there aren't black widows up here, I'm still freaked because it was huge and scary. I sprayed one side of the house and went around to the back. When I went to the original side again to do another round of spraying, I witnessed a massive spider evacuation. everywhere there were spiders hanging from threads, getting the hell out of there. Guess that fogger stuff works. Unfortunately when I fogged the cabin, I hit a lot of the branches that hang right over the front door area, which also triggered a massive evacuation so there were a whole bunch of spiders dangling in front of my door. So much for the indoor fogger for tonight. That will have to wait until I can de-spider the front door.

So, as if all of this wasn't enough, I was sitting in my car with my computer typing this up while I waited for the massive amounts of poison in the air to dissipate when I saw a big spider crawling on the edge of my dash by my window. I had been seeing lonely strands of spiderweb in my car for a few days, but I didn't really worry about it much. When I saw the bastard, I worried. I picked up a bottle of 409 I had in the car and sprayed him enough to stun him and give me time to get by him and out of the car. When I got out I picked up the wasp killer and sprayed him. I grabbed my camera to take a picture so I could identify him and while I was doing that out of the corner of my eye, suddenly I saw another spider of the same kind floating through the air toward me. I stood up and slowly backed away. Much to my dismay the spider followed me and it seemed the strand he was floating on was attached to ME! What else would I do but run away and do the bug dance? You should know this about me by now. He was a big spider, so give me a break. I was already freaked out about the entire bug event of the day so seeing a big spider attached to me wasn't exactly what I needed. So after my bug dance, I picked up the fogger and fogged near the open door of my car in case he was still there or in case there were more. I pretty much poisoned my car, which is fabulous. I'm really hoping the two of them weren't getting it on in my car because that would mean more little baby spiders to come. GRRRR! The spiders looked the same and usually male/female spiders of the same species look different so I'm crossing my fingers here.

If I see another freakin' spider tonight I'm going to lose my mind. Oh, forgot to mention that while I was fogging outside of my cabin a yellowjacket flew at me so I ran away to the safety of my car (or at least I thought, until I saw the devil spiders that lived in there). I've done a lot of running today. Maybe I'll become an exterminator so I get some exercise. Next time I go running I'm going to pretend I'm being chased by a swarm of bees.

Cutting Boards

I love a good knife, and I love a good cutting board. Thankfully I brought a good knife and cutting board with me because the ones here are crappy. This bit led me to a little research I'll share with you.

I once read a while back that although most people don't think so, wood cutting boards are safer than plastic ones. Most people assume that because the plastic isn't porous it won't hold on to bacteria vs. wood, which is porous and may be harder to clean. This was always sort of an assumption based on what seemed to be logical thinking. The 1993 study I read found that when bacteria was left on wooden and plastic cutting boards, the bacteria died off on the wooden one in a matter of minutes while the bacteria on the plastic cutting board multiplied and grew overnight. I read the study a while ago, and things change, so I decided to do a search today to find out what the latest is on that debate. Debate was what I found.

Before I get to the debate and what I found, let me just tell you that I hate plastic cutting boards. The thin ones warp, and the thick ones are all gross once you've been using it for some time. Also, I feel like I'm killing my knife when I use it on plastic - ick, the feel of cutting into a little plastic every time you make a pass with your knife if you're cutting something that requires pressure just makes me cringe.

That said, what I found was interesting. That original study I found came into question a while after because the experiment methods may not have made sense, which would make any outcome null and void. Since then they've found that the porous wooden surface may actually draw bacteria away from the surface, which makes it safer while cutting. Plastic, because it isn't porous, should clean up well. Here's the catch. Have you ever seen a plastic board that's been used a lot? Definite cut marks are visible throughout the board. This happens eventually with wood, but it's more like weathering in wood and not definite cuts. These cuts in the plastic surface actually in the end make it harder to clean and gives the bacteria more hiding places than in a wood board. Wood boards are also easier on your knife for sure.

Really, at the end of the day, if you clean your boards well you can use whatever you like. I, for one, will continue to use wood for the sake of my knives and the way it feels to cut on. Safety has nothing to do with my decision. I don't obsess over safety in the kitchen like they urge you to, but that's a whole other discussion for another time.

Almost Forgot about the Roasty Toasty!

I went back to the Spit-Fire Grill after lunch and got the sandwich I wanted earlier to-go for dinner later. I also got a piece of Irish cream cheesecake, which was Delicious. My sandwich was good too. How could anything called a Roasty Toasty ever be bad? They had mesquite chocolate chip cookies there, too. I asked the guy behind the counter where the mesquite comes in because all I could think is that it's smoked chocolate or something. Turns out there are little mesquite pods that are sweet. I still wasn't getting it, so I asked him in what form it's used in the cookie. It was mesquite flour. How cool is that. Of course I had to ask him how he ever got into doing that, because he seemed to be the mastermind behind the shop. He had come across it at some point in a random article he read, so he went on a search for it. He said finding it was extremely difficult. Getting them to ship it to him without costing an arm and a leg was even more fun, I'm sure. Homer is a well-established town and it's right on the water and everything, but it's still not a priority shipping destination by any means.

Also, here's a picture of Homer Spit. The mountains in the background still have lots of snow on them now, so they're even more beautiful than in this picture. The Spit is that bit of land the extends out into the bay (Kachemak Bay)

Homer, AK (I will be going back there)

Frenchy's cousins are in town and spent the night here in Sterling last night. They're from Texas and weren't enjoying the chilly air here. It's hot as hell in Texas, so I don't blame them. We had a fire out back and made food and s'mores, which is a perfect night for me. They didn't make it out there for too long, though, so it was just Frenchy and me for most of the time. It was chilly even for here, about 45, but it wasn't that bad, especially by the fire. Oh well, they caught up on TV watching while I got to eat delicious s'mores. Their loss.

Today we drove down to Homer, which was just a beautiful drive. The volcanoes across the cook Inlet are visible from parts of the road there and when you get to the outskirts of Homer the trees just open up to an amazing panoramic view of all of it. I'll upload pictures later. There were eagles galore, too. We saw a few perched on top of trees, one in a nest and several others flying around. A few actually flew along with us for a distance, which was cool. I tried to get a picture but I failed miserably. The way the feathers on the very tips of their wings curl up when they fly looks so neat. I love how people always get excited when they see an eagle. I think I get more excited now than ever before, even though I see them pretty regularly.

Homer is what I've been looking for in my journey. Every town I go to I keep thinking it'll be cutsey and have a nice little artsy downtown. Every town I'd been to before Homer was nothing but gas stations, grocery stores, fish processing and mechanics. Oh, and usually a taxidermist in there someplace, too. Which reminds me, I uttered a phrase I never thought would come out of my mouth. I said, "I'll just ask the local taxidermist, I'm sure there's one in town." First off, at home I'd never assume there's a taxidermist and second, I don't refer to anything as "in town." Here I have to drive to get to anything, so it's normal to say that. okay, back to my original train of thought. In Homer I finally found the cute little artsy town I was looking for. They have lots of cool little shops and really good food places.

Speaking of food, we went to lunch while we were there. We stopped into a place called the Spit-Fire Grill which had great sandwiches and good desserts. Unfortunately, I was the only one that wanted to go there. On we moved to a little cafe that was really neat, called Spit Sisters Cafe. Everything has Spit in the name because Homer is on a spit, which is a piece of land that extends out into water. Sort of like Nahant, but it's long and thin, with room for just one road down the middle with stuff on either side. Everyone vetoed that cafe, too, because there wasn't really enough sitting room. I was all for getting something and sitting on the benches to eat. It was a little cool because it's right on the water, but it would have been perfect in the sun. Oh well. We walked across the street and went to a sit down restaurant where everyone ordered fried food but me. I hate fried seafood. Seafood is usually such a delicate flavor that I think frying it just kills the whole experience. I got baked halibut with dill sauce and it was very good. Halibut is a white fish and it's extremely mild. I also got a beer that's made in Homer. Surprisingly, they make wine there, as well. It's berry wine, which I usually hate, but it's still neat. I also got a cup of chowder in lieu of cole slaw and french fries, which was also pretty good. After noting that the chowder was so thick I could stand my spoon up in it, her cousin tried to tell me that it's supposed to be that way. Puhhhhlease. I just simply told him I'm from Boston. I didn't think he'd need more explanation since I had already said it was the thickest I'd ever seen. C'mon, if I've never seen it like that, chances are it's not supposed to be like that. Chowdah, it's all we got.

I'm really critical of people's eating habits. I usually don't say anything out loud, though, that's just bad form. I'm pretty sure I picked that one up from the Bartlett side of the family. Especially because I'm even more critical if they're overweight. I really don't like that I do it, but I can't help it. It's especially stupid because I eat my fair share of bad foods, too. Balance is key, though. We stopped at a gas station that had fountain Dr Pepper, so of course I had to get some. Any time I see fountain Dr Pepper I'm allover it. It's the one soda I really like. Every size was 99cents, so I got the biggest one because A) it's funny to have a 44oz soda and b) who cares if I don't drink it all, it's the same price. I was laughing at the size when I got to the car and the response was, "oh, that's nothing, I drink the 64oz size." They were both on the larger side. I feel like such an evil person, but I just want to say, "yeah, no shit, I can tell," or, "no wonder!" Really, I feel like such a jerk when I think these things in my head, but I suppose it would be a lot worse if I actually said them. It's no excuse, but I'll just tell myself that for now to feel like less of a schmuck than I am.

The cousins didn't quite keep up with our speed, but we all still had a good time. We stopped at a bunch of places on the way, one of which was an art gallery this woman had in her house overlooking a stunning view of Mt. Iliamna (it could have been Mt. Spurr or Mt. Redoubt. not so sure on that one). She did beadwork and it was all really neat. She also had some small antiques. I picked up this little two compartment silver pill case and opened it up to find mysterious white powder residue. hmmmmm. Didn't explore that one any further. I used her bathroom. . . which was an outhouse. Another phrase I never thought I'd say: "Your outhouse is so cute." I seem to be saying a lot of phrases I never thought I'd utter ( I originally typed that as udder by mistake. haha!). The outhouse was cute, though. Peeing in a hole in the ground has never been so splendid.

Seems Kinda Trite

I ruin the ending of the movie Mystery Alaska in this post, so if you care, don't bother reading.

There are random movies in all of the cabins and lots of them I haven't seen. Last night I watched Mystery Alaska. How fitting, right? I don't know why I even bother to watch sports movies. They're all basically the same. They said it best in Wet, Hot, American Summer in a scene where the coach is giving the team a pump up speech before the other team arrives:

"EVERYBODY KNOWS TODAY IS THE CULMINATING, CLIMACTIC GAME AGAINST EVIL CAMP TIGERCLAW. WE'VE PUT TOGETHER AN UNLIKELY TEAM OF MISFITS, AND WE'VE BEEN TRAINING LIKE CRAZY ALL SUMMER. YES, WE'VE PUT TOGETHER A MOTLEY CREW YOU'D NEVER THINK WOULD BE ABLE TO WIN A SINGLE GAME. WE HAD A KOOKY TRAINING PERIOD WHERE IT SEEMED LIKE, WELL IT SEEMED LIKE NOTHING WAS GOING TO GO RIGHT, BUT GUYS, SOMEHOW WE MADE IT TO THE FINALS. SO I SAY, WHEN THOSE ANONYMOUSLY EVIL CAMPERS FROM TIGERCLAW GET HERE, WE GIVE IT OUR BEST SHOT, THEN WE TRY TO COME FROM BEHIND AT THE LAST MINUTE WITH SOME WEIRD TRICK PLAY THAT WE'VE MADE UP, AND WE WIN THE GAME! WHAT DO YOU SAY, TEAM?"

After he gives the speech the campers are silent and ones says, "It sounds like pretty well worn territory," and another agrees it, "seems kinda trite." When the bus of camp tigerclaw arrives seconds later the coach runs out to them and because they're far away you can't hear what he's saying to the other coach when he gets to the bus, but you can distinctly hear one word: Trite. Camp tigerclaw's coach agrees so he gets back on the bus and they leave and the game is off. Wet, Hot, American Summer is such a funny movie.

That said, Mystery Alaska was slightly better than the usual. One thing that wasn't cliche about this movie was that the home team underdogs lost. I liked it in that respect because I'm sick of seeing the same exact story applied to different sports and characters. Other than that it was just like all of the other comeback sports movies. Any movie where Burt Reynolds starts the slow clap automatically gets a star taken away. They should make an originality scale for movies where they take away a certain number of points every time they do something that's been done a million times before. Slow clap: minus 5 points. Burt Reynolds doing the slow clap: minus 10 points. Last minute comeback: minus 5 points. Best player gets injured and a fill in with hopes and dreams replaces him: minus 5 points. Depressed locker room before final period/inning/half that gets pumped up by the key player: minus 5 points. The game somehow mends a broken father/son relationship: minus 5 points. So the movies with the lowest scores are the most cliche. Really, we should be warned about this stuff ahead of time.

I trust The Man because if I do I save 40 cents on milk when I shop at my local grocery store!

I signed up for the local grocery store savings card the other day. Those things make me laugh. I remember when they first started coming out and people didn't understand why you had to have a card to save. They didn't get why if they're giving out membership for free and they're willing to give the discount that they wouldn't just give the discount and forget about making people carry a silly card. You can get a discount card almost anywhere now. I think whoever thought those things up is brilliant. Nevermind that maybe people will shop at the store more often because that's the card they have. That seems more like an afterthought to me. The real value there for the stores is for the analysts. They can keep track of peoples shopping habits, which is gold for a store. Just think about how much information they can deduce from those records. They know what you buy, how often, when you splurge, what brands you tend toward and more. They can tailor specials to specific regions based on those buying trends. If they find that most consumers are buying milk once a week on the weekends, they might put milk on sale just shy of a week so that people buy it sooner (and probably waste some of it because they don't need the milk yet so some of it may go bad, in which case they'll be back at the store buying more). They could also have big sales on days of the week the store is historically slow to ease the pressure off of the busier days, thereby possibly reducing the amount of staff needed on hand, which increases their bottom line. I wasn't kidding when I said before that I analyze everything.

On the same line of reasoning here, think about GPS units for cars. I know I'm going to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but I'm really not. I happen to use GPS in my car, so it's not like I'm afraid of The Man or something. Think of the information they could gather from those things. How fast you drive, where you drive, when you drive and more. How long before everyone has GPS in their car and we start getting speeding tickets in our email inbox? I'm just saying. Soon the whole world will be trackable. Woohoo!

This is my 100th post

yikes, I've written a lot, huh?

Last night the Greeks were here and we put the fire pit to VERY good use. We had quite a fire going. We actually cooked some chicken on the fire, which came out perfect. It was made with lemon and pepper. They got in late, so we didn't eat until maybe midnight. Time matters less when it's light out. Afterwards we stayed around the fire and had some beers.

I'm sure everyone will have some idea of what I'm talking about here from their wild days. One of the worst things in the world is when you're up so late partying that it starts to get light out. It's like the world is saying, "quit while you're ahead, dumbass." Well that happened last night, but Because it doesn't get completely dark here it took us a while to figure out that it was starting to get light out. Tough life out here.

The party train is rolling in

Last night Frenchy called me and it sounded like she was in a bar because it was so loud behind her. Apparently she has some rowdy guests. Today I got another call from her saying that the party is moving down here. Tonight those guys from Greece, who I talked about in an earlier post, are headed down and tomorrow two couples from Canada are coming. I'm told the Canadians are"LOTS of fun."

I'll be glad to have some company besides spiders and bees. I've told everyone about my spiders, but I haven't mentioned the bees much. How surprising, right? There are a TON of these little tiny bees around here that sort of hover and check things out. They actually don't bother me as much as other bees, but I still don't like them at all. I've killed more bees and spiders in the past week than I've killed in the past 5 years. I'm definitely less freaked out about spiders than I was before. When I sleep in Spider Cabin I fall asleep knowing I'll probably be visited by a spider at some point in the night. Before that would freak me out and I probably wouldn't sleep there. Soon I will be one with the spiders. That is, if I don't kill them all first.

So I'm sure I'll have lots to talk about after party time tonight. Woohooo, I get to use the fire pit with some company! I got some beer for the occasion. When I bought the beer the woman behind the counter was from Massachusetts. Seriously, I can't stop finding people from Massachusetts. It's ridiculous.