Canada: On The Shit List AGAIN

So, I'm stopped at the Canadian border. They don't believe I'm going to AK and are afraid I'm going to try to get a job in Canada. Awesome. They asked me a bunch of questions and searched my car then they told me I'd have to talk to the immigrations officer. . . who doesn't get in for 2 hours. ouch! I've been driving all night so that wasn't what I wanted to hear at all, but what can you do? They were probably suspicious because authority figures freak me out so I probably seemed nervous. . . because I was! So, my choices, as told to me, are to sleep in my car, wait in the lobby, or I'm welcome to return back to the US. He said the return to the US part with extra emphasis, as if to urge me to get out of his country.

I'm deciding now whether to sleep or stay awake. I'm really tired, but I don't want to sleep here, it's just weird to me. I wish I could call someone to keep me occupied, but my phone doesn't work in Canada I don't think. Or, rather, it's really expensive if it does. It's going to suck if this guy doesn't believe I'm going to Alaska. What am I supposed to do then?

He asked why I didn't go straight up from the east coast to Alaska. I told him I wanted to visit a friend in Chicago and before I could explain the rest of why I took this route (Yellowstone), he said "well Chicago is the east coast" Since when? Chicago is the midwest. He didn't even listen to the rest of what I had to say. Oh well. I'm really not bothered by them at this point because they're only doing their jobs. Hopefully all goes well when the immigration officer gets here.

UPDATE

I just crossed the border a bit ago. Total time at the border: 3 hours. Total time spent waiting in line at the border: 0 minutes. What schmucks. I waited for the immigration officer. She asked me for my license (they already had my passport and social security card), asked me the same exact questions the other guy asked me and sent me on my way. This really pisses me off because earlier on the original guy I was dealing with told me that he'd asked me the whole line of questioning he could ask and now it had to be referred to the immigration officer.

They also took my pepper spray away. Luckily I surrendered it when they asked if I had a weapon with me instead of them finding it in the search or something. I could see someone not knowing it was a weapon and getting into trouble when they find it later. Apparently pepper spray is illegal in Canada. No guns, no pepper spray. . . what's next? Amputation of hands because they're potential fists, which could be used as a weapon?

One redeeming thing is that I went to a visitor center, which I'm at right now (real time, they have internet here!) and the woman working there was the nicest person. Possibly the nicest person I've ever come across and in a very genuine way.

Damn you, Canada.

I've spent the last two days online trying to plan the Canadian leg of my journey home. Like I said, I want to get Canada out of the way before I fly home for the wedding, so I figured I'd speed through Canada and fly home from Seattle. On this home trip I will most likely be driving through Canada by myself and I won't be camping. I've had a lot of trouble planning for two main reasons:
1. There is very little civilization in Canada
I'd love to just tear through Canada and get it over with, but the logistics are a nightmare. I wouldn't be able to drive, drive, drive until I can't see straight and just stop where I am and spend the night. When I reach the point where I want to stop for the night, I might be 4 hours from civilization! Don't even get me started on gas stations.
2. There are very few roads in Canada
The roads are a laugh! There are two whole roads up through British Columbia. One of the roads is the Alaska Highway and the other one is, well, The Other Road. The Other Road isn't paved in spots and is strewn with one lane bridges. That's right, ONE LANE BRIDGES. Google estimates it takes about 20 hours to drive 460 miles on this Other Road. This is also only about half of the road through BC. To put it in perspective, that would be about the same distance as driving from Boston, MA to Buffalo, NY, which is estimated to take about 7.25 hours!

So, Alaska Highway it is. . .

Even South Park makes fun of the roads in Canada.